It is really easy to say that no matter what is going on in your life you should be doing your best, you should be performing at your peak. But it is not always easy, not every day is sunny, not every morning you wake up inspired…. It is also all too easy to blame other things and not to make an effort to do better because things are heavy at the moment…
Personally, I have had good times and bad times. At this moment of a pandemic, I am going through a very unique period and so I thought it would be interesting to share what I learned.
As most of you know I am a DeRose Method teacher and I have been so since 2008!
But before that I worked in Market Research, where I spent almost all of my career. It has been 15 years, maybe a little more.
I bit more than I could chew
The year of 2012 was a year of MANY big decisions, I decided to quit my then job (which did not happen until much later!), then there was a decision to move countries, start a new business, start a family… all at the same time… This was may (or may not) have been more than I could handle… The business is still going strong in NYC, I have an amazing and incredible son named after one of my favorite movies.
However, I have now moved out of the USA and my son and his mum live in yet another country. I wanted to start a new business and the pandemic threw all my plans up in the air… It is a strange moment. Things surely could be easier. Yet, at the same time I feel an enormous pride within me that I feel such strong passion and commitment to my dreams.
Lately I have re-connected with so many of my dear friends and they have been incredible company and support and the purveyors of invaluable insights.
But, today I woke up thinking that I needed to share something important: how can I still keep going?
There are at least three things are keeping me very focused and allowing me to crawl through the mud of difficult times:
- One of the key characteristics of my personality is obstinance.
- I have been training for over 2 decades to be able to keep focused on what makes me happy, and to be able to see it clearly even in the darkest of days.
- I know what makes me happy, what fulfills me, and therefore, how I can contribute to our world.
So let me dive a little into each one of these factors.
I am as stubborn as a mule
Since I was a small boy my parents (especially my mum) were very keen to stimulate my stubbornness. Whenever I wanted something really bad and I stuck steadfast to it, in the end I got it. It may have taken ages to get to the end, but it happened. Throughout my life this has been the case. Hang on, push, hold, keep at it… WHAM! There it is. While this was displayed from an early age, my parents re-inforced this behavior by giving me attention when I exhibited this trait, therefore, cementing it as one of my key characteristics.
This trait has been invaluable in my life and I feel strongly that all that I have, and all that I am, can be traced back to the influence of being adamant, headstrong, willful, persistent, resolute and just plain pigheaded!
Yet over the years I hope I have learned to temper this with an ability to learn and focus this characteristic where it is most likely to get me closer to what makes me whole.
I have the training
Above all else, the DeRose Method has trained me. It has shaped me. It has given me the energy and the means to be able to cope with everything that has been thrown my way. This is why I teach it. This Method has taught me who I am and possibly what is the purpose of my life.
What makes me happy
I am a teacher at heart. I love to help people by giving them the conditions to reach insights about themselves and life. I love to question, to challenge, to make people think and feel, to guide individuals so that they can reach better conclusions. Often times I have no idea what the answer to something may be, but in my life I have developed and fallen in love with the skill of being able to support individuals to have the tools to answer for themselves.
This is why I thrived in market research, which is all about finding answers and sharing those so that others can use the information for their needs.
This is why I thrive as a DeRose Method teacher.
When I say one phrase, when I ask one question, and I can see my student’s eyes light up from within… that moment extends my lifespan. This moment makes me who I am. Ultimately I have to say that this is as close to the purpose of my life as I know as of today.