I attribute much of the success I have had in life to the fact that I have executed a constant re-programming over the years.I created formulas according to the needs of each moment and perfected them. Over time, I have discovered sentence constructions which go directly to the unconscious sectors that determine the reactions of the individual. It is, after all, peoples’ reactions, their way of reacting to life’s circumstances, that direct them to success or failure, to having friends or not have any, to cultivating health or disease, to be happy or unhappy.
For example, when a stranger insistently looks at someone, a less educated a person may react with aggression, asking: “What you looking at?”. While another more refined person, may respond with a spontaneous and automatic smile, as this is their natural way to act. The first will have made an enemy, may hear what unpleasantries, or may even got to the ultimate consequence, a confrontation. Whilst the second will have made a friend, a person may even be helpful you in the future. It is from reciprocity that success stories are built.
Thus, it is unacceptable that everything bad happens “only to you”. These same things happen to everyone. The difference is that while some react with sportsmanship and kindness, others with paranoia and hysteria.
As for the positive emotional reprogramming, its effectiveness depends upon the verbal constructions used. It is important to remember that our emotional side is like a child. It will seek the most enjoyable path.
A true sentence which may have no metric, no melody or captivating meaning, cannot penetrate the shielding that protects the psyche protects itself from the constant barrage of external suggestions, such as advertising, by the natural attempts of a speaker to convince another in an exchange of ideas or a more heated discussion.
A statement such as “I am beautiful”, would probably be rejected by the unconscious and, therefore, be useless for most people. On the other hand, if the statement is accepted by the psyche, it would simply be an implanting of self-suggestion, a simple deception that would not lead to any real progress on improving the good looks.
The progressive reprogramming works like this:
- (1st stage: I want) “I want to improve my personal appearance”, consequently,
- (2nd stage: I will) “I will progress gradually in improving my personal appearance,” and concludes,
- (3rd stage: I am) “I am always improving my personal appearance.”
This is indeed a convincing strategy. It conveys maturity, truthfulness, consistency. It allows time and the conditions for the order to be obeyed. The setting of goals and deadlines is very effective.
To mentalize the morning, when waking up:
I take this new day in my life with a willingness to be a better and happier person.I want to gradually reeducate myself to better serve the people with whom I come into contact today. I will learn more things, accomplish something good, I will rejoice the beautiful and simple things like a breeze, a ray of sunshine, a bird, a flower. I want to be more tolerant today than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I will be more than today. I want to share the good things, the good thoughts.
If you receive an aggression:
I know that this person has problems. Life must not have been as to him/her as it has been to me. I am grateful for this. As such, I find the strength to overcome this incident and move ahead to enjoy the best things life has in store for me.
When someone needs your help:
I am happier than most people. I want to do the maximum I can to bring a little happiness to everyone. Even if doing it costs me something, I feel rewarded for being the messenger of happiness. Therefore I expect no recognition nor gratitude.
If something goes wrong:
It could have been worse. I am happy this was all. Notwithstanding, in the future I want my actions to reduce the probability that such circumstances happen again.
In the work of the DeRose Method our Professors, Teachers and Instructors aim to always improve themselves and provide examples to their students of better attitudes which can lead to more success. Part of this process of improving the attitudes is connected with an emotional re-education which can improve the way we approach and deal with any situation.
In the 1970’s DeRose wrote the text above and it has served as cornerstone of the work that we do to and has led many to their personal success.
[Original text by DeRose, translated by Fabs].